Emigration and the Changing Shape of Family Life

Family life is shifting for many South Africans whose children and grandchildren now live abroad. This subject is close to my heart, and I know many who share this experience.

According to research by Dr. Sulette Ferreira, over one million South Africans currently live overseas. This number is projected to rise to 1.6% of our 63 million citizens. Such emigration reshapes family dynamics across generations, introducing new complexities in relationships and emotional distance.

My own journey reflects this shift. Both my children married in 2005 and moved abroad within three months of each other—my daughter to Thailand with her Thai husband as missionaries, and my son and his wife to the United Kingdom. Over the past twenty years, we’ve welcomed four grandchildren, all born outside South Africa and now teenagers. These decades have brought joy, heartache, and the ongoing challenge of adapting to this reality. I know many others carry similar stories.

At 50Plus-Skills, we engage with older adults who increasingly face aging without the family support systems previous generations relied on. Questions arise: Who will take me to the doctor? Who will check in when I’m isolated or grieving? Who will help me pack up a large home or navigate technology? For many, travel becomes daunting, and loneliness grows.

On the flip side, there’s the mantra: “Have children—will travel.” I recall a daytime flight to London years ago. As I walked through the plane, I subconsciously noticed many passengers who looked like me. In the arrival lounge, I saw young adults with prams—and it hit me. We were all here to visit our grandchildren. Travel between South Africa and abroad becomes a rhythm of life. In my case, it’s one reason I continue working: to afford the flights. These visits are always intense, trying to compress everyday life into a few days or weeks. The same applies when they visit us.

Longevity has gifted us a “bonus season” of living longer. After my children left in 2005, I had to redefine my purpose. The “empty nest” is a universal struggle, and releasing our children to live their best lives is both necessary and painful. The phrase “roots and wings” is real—and challenging. For a time, I felt like I’d fallen into a deep, dark hole. I hosted a full-blown pity party. But then I chose to pull myself together and imagine what my next chapter could be. That’s how Refirement Network and 50Plus-Skills were born—platforms to help others discover their purpose and gifts, and to educate around the opportunities of a longer life.

These trends open new possibilities. Perhaps your future lies in creating work or care networks for older adults whose children live far away. The list of what’s possible is endless.

On 30 October, over lunch hour on Zoom, we’ll be in conversation with Dr. Sulette Ferreira about her research on family separation and emigration. If you’d like to join us, please register here—it’s free: Zoom Registration

We invite you to join us. Bring your friends, your peers, and even your children. These conversations around longevity and family trends matter. Together, we can find solutions and care for one another.